I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
