do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
