just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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