im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Randomize
