Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
