Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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