he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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