Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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