just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
