I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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