yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
