I'm lost and stupid without you.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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