Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
