Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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