I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
