Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
