So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
