Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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