it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
