can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
