yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
