Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
