Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
