he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Randomize
