I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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