yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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