I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
