What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
