Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
