So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
