You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
