Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
