whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
