Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
