Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
