playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
