Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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