just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
