Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
