I must be too annoying 4 u.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
