oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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