theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
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