yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
