it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
