is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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