Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
