She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
