If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
