Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
