Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
