Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
