one might say we're banned from that church
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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